On Beauty
Thoughts about beauty assaulted me this weekend and I realized I can be fooled into thinking it is a physical concept...

Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. - Kahlil Gibran

Beauty is truth, truth beauty; that is all ye know on earth and all ye need know. - John Keats


In the movie Don Juan DeMarco, Marlon Brando is asking Johnny Depp how he attracts so many women. Depp, playing the role of Don Juan, replies (in Castillan accent):
By seeing beyond what is visible to the eye. Now there are those, of course, who do not share my perceptions, it is true. When I say that all my woman are dazzling beauties, they object. The nose of this one is too large; the hips of another, they are too wide; perhaps the breasts of a third, they are too small. But I see these women for how they truly are... glorious, radiant, spectacular, and perfect... because I am not limited by my eyesight. Women react to me in the way they do, Don Octavio, because they sense that I search out the beauty that lies within until it overwhelms everything else. And then they cannot avoid their desire, to release that beauty and envelope me in it.
How beautiful you are, my beloved, how beautiful! - Song of Songs 1:15

I do not want my house to be walled in on all sides and my windows to be stuffed. I want the cultures of all the lands to be blown about my house as freely as possible. But I refuse to be blown off my feet by any.

Mahatma Gandhi

I realize, I am quite insane, but it's all for love.

Beautiful

To Silvia by Giacomo Leopardi

Silvia, do you rememberthe moments, in your mortal life,when beauty still shonein your sidelong, laughing eyes,and you, light and thoughtful,went beyond girlhood’s limits?

The quiet rooms and the streetsaround you, soundedto your endless singing,when you sat, happily content,intent, on that woman’s work,the vague future, arriving alive in your mind.It was the scented May, and that’s howyou spent your day.

I would leave my intoxicating studies,and the turned-down pages,where my young life,the best of me, was left,and from the balcony of my father’s housestrain to catch the sound of your voice,and your hand, quick,running over the loom.I would look at the serene sky,the gold lit gardens and paths,that side the mountains, this side the far-off sea.And human tongue cannot saywhat I felt then.

What sweet thoughts,what hopes, what hearts, O Silvia mia!How it appeared to us then,all human life and fate!When I recall that hopesuch feelings pain me,harsh, disconsolate,I brood on my own destiny.Oh Nature, Naturewhy do you not give nowwhat you promised then? Whydo you so deceive your children?

Attacked, and conquered, by secret disease,you died, my tenderest one, and did not seeyour years flower, or feel your heart moved,by sweet praise of your black hairyour shy, loving looks. No friends talked with you, on holidays, about love.

My sweet hopes died alsolittle by little: to me tooFate has denied those years. Oh,how you have passed me by,dear friend of my new life,my saddened hope!Is this the world, the dreams, the loves, events, delights, we spoke about so much together?Is this our human life?At the advance of Truthyou fell, unhappy one,and from the distance,with your hand, you pointedtowards death’s coldness and the silent grave.

Is not this the true romantic feeling - not to desire to escape life, but to prevent life from escaping you?

(a quote from author Tom Wolfe, and a question everyone should ask themselves everyday)

I know in this past month, with working two jobs and stressed about money. I have the desire to escape life... but my life is truly beautiful, I need to find my happiness again.. to enjoy each day. This quote just made me realize that I indeed let life escape me.........

Xavier Rudd Concert

Saw Xavier Rudd in concert for the first time last night... his instrument playing ability is simply amazing and his lyrics stick to my heart.

If I have to serve one more tall, 1/4 sugar free vanilla, half soy, half skim, 2 shots regular, 1 shot decaf, with foam on top latte... to another non appreciative customer i'm going to blow my fucking head off!

just had to get that out, i'm so tired of customer service, no.. actually i'm just tired of people in general.
I think I will just go high into the mountains and live off the land.. where there is only the sound of the trees blowing in the wind and the hum of my own voice.

Chapter Heading by Ernest M. Hemingway

For we have thought the longer thoughts
And gone the shorter way.
And we have danced to devils’ tunes,
Shivering home to pray;
To serve one master in the night,
Another in the day.

Just got a new job...

It's a quaint little latin bistro called AGAVE.

stay tuned :)

Where the Sidewalk ends...

There is a place where the sidewalk endsAnd before the street begins,And there the grass grows soft and white,And there the sun burns crimson bright,And there the moon-bird rests from his flightTo cool in the peppermint wind.Let us leave this place where the smoke blows blackAnd the dark street winds and bends.Past the pits where the asphalt flowers growWe shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,And watch where the chalk-white arrows goTo the place where the sidewalk ends.Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,And we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go,For the children, they mark, and the children, they knowThe place where the sidewalk ends.


The author is Shel Silverstein and I found this book today, I have not read it since I was a kid... I love his poetry.

There is something about old book stores that is so charming...

The way it smells, the worn edges, all the classics, or books just waiting to be discovered for the first time.

I found myself wanting to skip all the errands I needed to do today and just plop myself down in a chair with a cup of joe and read all day long.

Cooking is both Beautiful and Frusterating...

I ran back and forth from the computer to the kitchen attempting to make a Huckelberry/Blueberry Cobbler.

I wanted to drink a bottle of wine while doing it, but I must say... listening to soft music and having the house all to myself and taking on such a task really did make my day.

It's not beautiful, but man does it look tasty.

Now i'm off to the grocery store to get vanilla ice cream... I plan to have at least 3 servings tonight ;)

“Change is the essence of life.Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”



I am willing to surrender

I cooked my first lasagna last night.. and though this does not seem to be that big of a deal, I was estatic! I have in the last year just began to truly love and appreciate cooking. The tastes, the colors, how good the wine follows the meal. I remember the days of college where I burnt water and relied on the microwave.

Now I hope this does not mean I'm becoming too domesticated

Nahhhhhh not me :)

The Secret

If you're living life by the book, then you're not truly living "The Secret."
-In reference to this non-sensicle craze over the book "The Secret."

(A theory thought of while brushing my teeth this morning.)

Dear Blog

I've met someone....
He can sing, he cooks me breakfast, and he shares a passion for the great outdoors.

I'm sold for now...

Until then. Hmmmmmmmmm

I re-watched "stealing beauty" tonight starring liv tyler. I vaguely remember watching that movie a long, long time ago when I was in high school.

I wrote the same verse she wrote in her diary,in my diary as well.

"I wait I wait so patiently I'm as quiet as a cup I hope you'll come and rattle me Quick! Come wake me up. "

The movie is filled with lost innocence about a girl who comes to stay with family on a farm in beautiful Tuscany after her poet mother commits suicide.

The main thrust of the movie are the attempts of the lead character, Lucy Harmon (Liv Tyler), to lose her virginity. At age 19, she's never slept with a man -- a revelation that causes a great stir among the residents of the Tuscany villa where she is spending the summer. Everyone is sympathetic with her situation, and they begin to consider who might best be able to accommodate her.

This movie makes you uncomfortable at times, yet you can't take your eyes off of it. You relate to Lucy with your own events of becoming a woman. Sympathizing with her.

I thoroughly recommend it

Stealing Beauty

I wait I wait so patiently

I'm as quiet as a cup

I hope you'll come and rattle me

Quick!

Come wake me up.

Bob Dylan, The Times They Are A-Changin'

Come gather round people

Wherever you roam

And admit that the waters Around you have grown

And accept it that soon Youll be drenched to the bone.

If your time to you Is worth savin

Then you better start swimmin

or youll sink like a stone

For the times they are a-changin.

Come writers and critics

Who prophesize with your pen

And keep your eyes wide

The chance wont come again

And dont speak too soon

For the wheels still in spin

And theres no tellin who

That its namin.

For the loser now

Will be later to win

For the times they are a-changin.

Come senators, congressmen

Please heed the call

Dont stand in the doorway

Dont block up the hall

For he that gets hurt

Will be he who has stalled

Theres a battle outside

And it is ragin.

Itll soon shake your windows

And rattle your walls

For the times they are a-changin

Come mothers and fathers

Throughout the land

And dont criticize

What you cant understand

Your sons and your daughters

Are beyond your command

Your old road is

Rapidly agin.

Please get out of the new one

If you cant lend your hand

For the times they are a-changin

The line it is drawn

The curse it is cast

The slow one now

Will later be fast

As the present now

Will later be past

The order isRapidly fadin

And the first one now

Will later be last

For the times they are a-changin.

Accept what is

“If there's any kind of magic in this world, it must be in the attempt of understanding someone, sharing something. I know, it's almost impossible to succeed, but . . . who cares, really? The answer must be in the attempt.”

-Before Sunrise

Sleepless in Spokane

This picture is from a Japanese magazine but the image is something I can relate to. I have decided to start blogging to help get things off my mind.

So it was news to me that this world of blogging was going on around me. It jumbled me a bit because I still use that journal next to my bed to write down all these things. Which in turns makes me sad. Will paper and journals be obsolete?
I know its passe in this day and age to think anyone would keep a journal, but I rather like the idea.
However; I find this fun and invigorating. I'm no poet and no writer, but this mind of mine has a way of thinking things you wouldn't dare and saying things out loud you wouldn't be caught thinking.

I have always been one of those people with millions of things running through the mind at all times day and night. I close my eyes, and all I see is... words, images, school, thoughts, conversations of the day, colors, what I need to do tomorrow.. 3 days from now. etc etc.

I wake up the next morning exhausted and restless,

When will the madness end?